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No one would deny the impact of contamination of an environmental problem on human, making the Earth dirty. However, people are divided on both sides of environmental problems whether people can manage it or not. In this essay, I will discuss problems of the environment and will be followed by appropriate provide illustrations to support it.
To begin with, people generally believe that >> both views 가 아닙니다 본인의 의견을 제시하는 곳입니다 environmental problems are not severe to the extent of being controlled by countries>> people 로 시작해서 당연히 주장에 맞지 않습니다. Governments in various countries have tried to cease reduce the pollutions such as establishing an organization of the environment, making a law for each countries, >> 세개 이상 나열 중 마지막 and/or 앞엔 콤마입니다 and making rules on their own countries to prohibit a using fuel resources. >> 설명과 예시의 경계가 모호합니다 예시는 for example 이라고 확실히 표시해주세요 such as 부분 잘 나눠서 예시로 만들어주세요
However, it is true that to some extent, On the other hand, the pollutions is getting extend by far, even though a lot of endeavor of individual countries. . Indifference of people aggravates this tainted environment. People who are not interested in the environment do not know the severance of pollutions. For example, people work in a big factory, which makes a number of air pollutions and sends out dirty water factory wastes into the river as they do not know the fact. >> 무슨 fact 죠? Individual persons and countries ought to realize the fact that they are in big problem.
Furthermore, many factories and companies make some more strong rules to protect our earth and people also notice the severance and obey the rules for themselves. According to the research conducted in England, people could not realize the social problems without notice of countries.
In conclusion, despite of many negative reasons, the problems of the environment can be managed by individual persons and individual countries together. It needs not only countries, but also people.
제대로 된 구조를 갖춘 본론이 없었습니다 논리 전개에 굉장히 미흡한 모습을 보여줬습니다 Task1 을 써봐주세요 환경의 environment 앞엔 the 가 붙습니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다 |