▶ Your Answer :
These diagrams
above show about renovation plan of Crowley Gallery in three years.
First of all, there
are plans to provide 어색한 단어 선택 build? a new interactive education centre, which means the
existed portrait gallery will have to be moved. That will be located within the
area that was where the portrait gallery was, meaning that it will have to be smaller.
문장이 전반적으로 깔끔하지 못합니다
Cafeteria will be
transformed into bar and restaurant and, <-(콤마 x) next to it, coffee shop will be come
out as a new feature. As a consequence, the book and gift shop which was were
located in coffee shop will be moved to the other side of floor next to
information desk. As a new feature, the photograph gallery will be installed as
well.
The stair case to
the second floor will be remained, but a lift will be installed next to it. To
make it possible, the toilet will be needed to be relocated to right side a
little bit.
SCORE: 5 Comment: 전반적인 문장이 깔끔하지 못합니다. 깔끔한 complex sentence (which, that, even though..와 같은 표현을 사용하여 여러문장을 한문장이 된 문장)이 고득점의 전략이지만 계속 반복적인 문장의 형태가 반복되고 있습니다. 다양한 문장의 형태를 구사한다면 더 높은 점수를 기대할 수 있겠습니다. 또한, 현재 쓰신 글이 155 words로 기준치에는 맞으나 200 words라고 생각하고 쓰시면 더 좋습니다.
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