▶ Your Answer :
To develop new drugs and treatments for humans,
human exploit animals to conduct a variety of testing and researches. This phenomenon
has brought about perpetual controversial issues and opponents argue that these
immoral behaviors should be regulated or banned. However, from my perspective,
it is necessary to advance medical and scientific knowledge, albeit people need
to take advantage of animals. This essay will highlight the benefits and claim
justification of the animal testing
To begin with, animals are used in diverse important
scientific researches. In fact, many remarkable discoveries involved
experimentation on animals. For example, today’s people can be cured when they
have diseases, which used to kill many people, after the development of drugs
entailed animal testing. The average life expectancy of humans is becoming longer
and also people are in better good physical health than they used to be. If it had not been
not for experimentation on animals, people would have have remained suffering from diverse
disease. As an example illustrates, there is no doubt that animal testing has led
the advancement of medicals for the human being.
Even though this<(what is this?) benefits, some might argue
that the lives of animals should be respected. From this aspect, these days, a
substantial number of animal experimentations about cosmetic products already
are banned in many different countries. Moreover, scientists seek to methods
which could that can reduce animal’s pain while they are experimenting on a testing and they try to perform
alternative methods as much far as they can when it comes to research. Furthermore,
animal testing is beneficial not only to humans but also to animals. This is because
veterinarians conduct the experimentation for advancement of animal’s health. By
doing it, animals can be cured more exquisitely than they were before. <(이 문단의 argue point가 무엇인지 도드라보이지 않습니다. 조금 더 clarity에 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.)
To conclude, it might be asserted that all experimentations
on animals should be restricted since these researches are unethical and
immoral by some animal right activists. Nevertheless, I believe that the animal
testing is indispensable with regard to the future of human being’s health and
the experiments on animals for scientific knowledge and medical advancement should
be continued.
Score: 7 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 전체적으로 coherence를 조금 더 강화 시켜주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 문법상 표현이랑 어순에에 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. Specificity에도 조심해 주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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