Art should be a compulsory class for high school students.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Some people believe art needs to be forced to be taken in high school because it develops students makes students develop in a variety of ways for their future lives, not just in an academic ways like gaining knowledge. I support this idea for several reasons.
First of all, art can be the open door to express students' feelings and ideas in their inner side. As the means of dealing with someone's feelings, art is one of the best ways to show what he or she has in mind recently and especially, in a tight timetable for school life, an art class can be where students express their own thoughts. For example, during every academic class, students are required to think in a certain way that a teacher intends so that they write the right answers to achieve the goal of each class. It leads students to face the situation that there is no room to express emotions and ideas freely. Therefore However, a compulsory art class can be the outlet to show students' creative thoughts and honest feelings in their mind.
(여기도 제가 나눠드린 것처럼 한 칸 띄어주시면 됩니다. 이것도 점수에 들어가는 사항이므로 주의해주세요~)
Secondly, by taking an art class, students know how to enjoy and appreciate what comes is from art, like artworks, photographs or interior designs. As the visual technology develops, if students enter the society after graduating, they have to do something visual based on art. For example, they'll (줄임말은 풀어서 작성해주세요!) not only make their presentations with eye-catching colors and designs but also use trendy photographs or pictures for promoting products online. These tasks require for them to have artistic sense. Thus, a compulsory art class allows students to get a necessary artistic insight and skill needed in their works.
In summary, students have to take an art class when in high school because it help them express themselves and get useful skills for their future lives.
총평: (7/6/7/7) 7.0
서론만 수정했을 때에는 고칠 게 정말 많아보였는데, 막상 그 이후로 가니까 딱히 큰 수정사항 없이 깔끔하게 적어주셨네요. 기본적인 영어 실력이 뒷받침되는만큼 task 2에서는 웬만하면 일정 수준 밑으로 떨어지지 않을 겁니다. 그러나, task 1의 경우는 전혀 다른 차원의 얘기이므로 이쪽도 소홀히해서는 안 되겠고요. 수고하셨습니다 :)