Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while other people think that it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a debate over the adequacy of hiring young people to the core positions in the government. There are clear pros and cons of this idea. However, I have a different idea on this adequacy issue beyond two-sided points of view.
First of all, placing young people in important positions like director or manager role has some positive impacts. Young people’s young thinking can revitalize the government in a good way. For example, their innovative minds can be suitable for the government to keep up with the civil society that changes fast. Adding to that, young leaders can make the best policy for young people for the reason that they young (Young 이 많아도 너무 많이 쓰이고 있습니다.) ones can know young people’s needs.
However, beyond these strong points, the side
effects are not small. To begin with, important positions in the government
must be coupled with big responsibility that requires (이게 responsibility 와 호응되면 s 가 붙는 게 맞는데, 저는 개인적으로 positions 와 호응되는 게 적절하다고 봐서 s를 빼는 게 낫지 않을까 싶습니다.) experience than
experiment. For instance, re-designing main roads in the big city requires years
of experiences in the field. If young and vigorous but careless directors are
boldly implement a implementing wrong design, millions of people will suffer from traffic
jams and accidents. Thus, skilled and experienced middle aged directors are
need in important positions.
As noted above, young people are suitable for some positions while other roles are not. Thus, we can draw the conclusion that the best quality for important positions in the government is the not the age but the suitability of person for the required job. In this regard, for the government screening young people in all positions for their age must change their policy by recruiting innovative young candidate for the better civil service. Likewise, for the government hiring young people for their youth should be matured on their administration.
총평: (8/8/7/7) 7.5
잘 써주셨습니다. 위의 빨간 부분은 그렇게 중요한 것은 아니고, task 2가 이정도면 task 1에서 아무리 깎인다고 해도 최소 타격으로 막을 수 있을 겁니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)