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Different opinions exsist on whether undergraduates student should get receive >> get 동사는 피해주세요 a benefit from their volunteer work or not. Some people insist that volunteer work need some rewards, >> 반면에라는 뜻을 가진 while 앞엔 콤마가 붙습니다 while other people believe that this is a part of education that has to be given as an academic credit >> 위에 쓰신 question에선 이런 내용이 없었네요. From my view point of view, I strongly believe that volunteer work has to be perfomed, with no without any expectation of compensation being followed.
First of all, Incentives given to students in exchange for their voluntary work are inapporpriate to realize its real meanning. It is nesscessary to think what the genuine value of “volunteer”>> 따옴표 빼주세요 is. For example, when someone says that he >> ?? who is he ? does voluntarily something voluntarily, people usually believe that someboby does unpaid work without being paid for it. However, recentely, students seem to need a compensation for their work such as additional credits, attendance marks, >> 세개 이상 나열 중 마지막 and 앞엔 콤마가 붙습니다 and gauranteed score. This illustrates that students will always ask something when they do volunteer work. As a result, they will do volunteer work just for incentives.
Furthermore, offering students incentives brings a substantial discrimination between those who study hard and take an exam to get a credit to make high marks on exams and those who go out under the name of voluneering work just to get it, which is regarded as relatively easier way to accumulate >> accumulate what ?. For instance, I have a friend who graduated from an university rather easily by involving himself in community works >> 갑자기 무슨 말인가요? 오히려 그를 지역 봉사에 스스로 참가해서 졸업한 친구가 있다 ??, compared to other colleagues who were suffering from obtaining a credit through academic lectures. It is evident that students who understands the way of gaining credits without participating in regular classes would achieve easily their goals easily, which will cause a serious unfairness. This negative consequense affects naïve students and leads them to be hesitated to study hard.
In conclusin, although it is plausible to support the idea that some conpensation is needed to boost up participation>> in what/where?, this concept has to be limited to meet equality and to encourage student to getting take truly part in involved in communitiy work truly.
각 문단 첫 줄 맨 앞은 한 칸 띄우세요 (들여쓰기) 사소한 문법들이 굉장히 약하다고 보이네요 대소문자가 전혀 오타가 나지 않을 곳에 난 걸로 봐선 그렇게 알고 계신 듯 싶네요 although 나 offering 등에서요 또한 예를 들 땐 for example , for instance 등을 써주시구요 incentives 를 credits 로 한정하셨네요 옳지 않습니다 주제를 한정시켜도 토픽에 충족시키질 않는 것입니다 volunteer work 라고만 쓰시는 것도 어휘가 부족하다고 봅니다만 다른 곳은 괜찮았습니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy -5
5.5 예상합니다 |