▶ Your Answer :
The pie chart The graph >> 문제랑 같게 쓰지 말아주세요 indicates several causes of worldwide land degradation worldwide, >> 콤마 빼주세요 and the table reveals how the three regions(North America, Europe, and Oceania) were affected three regions by land degradation the dreadful condition for a decade in the 1990s.
To begin with, Over-cultivation >> Over-grazing 입니다 was the highest rated feature as 35%,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and 앞에 콤마가 붙는 경우는 주어가 같을 때입니다 and deforestation followed as the second highest percentage (30%). , followed by deforestation(30%). Just two percentage was less in over-cultivation >> The smallest one was over-cultivation, recorded at 28%. Moreover, only 7 percentage of proportion was accounted for other factors. >> 이건 오버뷰나 비교가 아니라 그냥 단순한 그래프 설명 나열입니다
Secondly, by land degradation with the main causes, three regions were affected. Significantly, deforestation was the main factor of land degradation for Europe (9.8%),>> 콤마 빼주세요 and also over-cultivation influenced to the land (7.7%). On the other hand, in Oceania, >> 콤마 넣어주세요 11.3% was degraded by over-grazing. Only 5% of land in North America was degraded.
Overall, Oceania was highly affected by the land degradation from over-grazing, >> 콤마입니다 compared to the rest regions. However, more than half of proportion of worldwide of the three continents within the causes of deforestation and over-cultivation was come from Europe (58%). It was seen that quite fewer little land degradation, less than just under 3,3% in all causes, was in North America.
각 문단 첫 시작은 한 칸 띄고 시작해주세요 단어 사용이 어색하거나 잘못된 곳들이 있었습니다 어휘력이 한정된 단어 내에서만 계속 작성되는 것도 보입니다 본론보다 결론이 더 길거나 비슷한 분량이네요 서론 결론은 1-2 문장이면 되고 본론이 길어야합니다 본문에선 오버뷰 하나 작성하고 디테일 부분에서 저라면
유럽은 약 2.2 퍼센트 정도로 각 항목마다 차이가 있다, 북미에선 over-cultivation 이 가장 높고 Oceania에선Over-grazing이 완연하게 높다, 세 항목 중 세 대륙에 가장 많은 영향을 준건 약 18%로 overgrazing이다, 북미와 오세아니아를 합쳐도 유럽보다 적다 정도로 끝내겠습니다 이렇게 확실히 보이는 정보, 어떤 두개를 더한 값이 하나의 값보다 적다 같다 많다 등의 비교 정도만 해주시면 됩니다 그 분량에 맞게 오버뷰만 간단하게 2-3 문장 정도만 구사해주면 150자 될겁니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
5.5 예상합니다 |