As environment issues are trending topics for debate, people have increased an interest in environmental improvement. Some people think that governments and large companies can work to improve environment more better than individuals. However, I disagree that with the opinion, (<-no comma) because I think that individuals have a lot to do as governments and large companies do.
People say that only government and large companies have a lot of things to do, because they can do several things. For example, they can make several campaigns, advertising and policy about the environment, like recycle campaign, reduce using disposable advertising, reduce trash policy. Also, (comma) government can make policy to restrict companies, (comma) such as do not emit waste water, less pollutant and trash.
However, i I do not think that because individuals can have many things. When government and companies start campaign, people who participate in it, are individuals. In otherwords, they cannot do anything without individuals. And if people have consciousness, they enough can do many things in everyday life.
In conclusion, individuals have a lot of things to do to improve the environment as much as government and large companies.
SCORE: 4.5
Comment: 현재 서술하신 글이 178words로 at least 250words라는 기준치에 많이 미달하고 있습니다. 아무리 잘 쓴 에세이라도 기준치에 미달하면 task achievement에서 점수가 감점될 수 밖에 없으며, 최소 기준치이기 때문에 300words쓰신다고 생각하시고 글을 서술하시면 좋습니다. Topic에서 제시된 표현인 a lot of things to do의 표현이 반복되는 구문이 많으며 individuals can have many things와 같이 많은 '것들'을 가질 수 있기 때문이다.. 처럼 애매한 things의 표현은 감점의 요소이며 접속사로 And를 사용하지 않습니다. e.g. Also, In addition, Additionally, Moreover, Furthermore....