▶ Your Answer : Learning a foreign language for all children tends to start earlier in the recent decades. Children have an ability to learn everything fast, thus this can be an advantages, however there are more disadvantages for this. <(질문에 대한 답이 조금 더 clear하면 좋을 것 같습니다. to what extent이기 때문에 어느정도 agree/disagree하시는지 clarify해주시면 될 것 같습니다. )
Many studies demonstrate that the learning ability of children in their early childhood are tremendously better than adults. This theory can be right, because children learn and remember their first language perfectly in only a few years. Likewise, children can learn a foreign language faster as younger as possible. This is the most biggest reason why that many parents want their children to start studying a foreign language in the earliest grades at school.
Nevertheless, this can causes bigger problems, because there are no consideration of children's interests or choices. First of all, most of children in their the earlier grades are easily tired of studying something. They prefer playing to studying subjects at school. If parents or teachers force kids to study a foreign language against with their children's wishes or interests, children might loose there interests in studying. Second of all, younger children have not yet logical language abilities. They should spend sufficient time to learn their mother tongue, and after that they can understand more complicate vocabularies. Moreover, there exists some cases that children who learned a foreign languages too early are disturbed <(disturbed of what?) and forget the ability to speak their first language fluently. In conclusion, learning a foreign language in the earliest grades have bigger disadvantages than advantages for children. It is not too late to start that starting learning foreign languages in their middle school.
Score: 6 Comment: 장단점이라는 것 보다 왜 저학년 부터 외국어를 배우지 말아야하는지에 대해 focus를 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 예를 들어 단점이 더 많기 대문에 저학년 부터 외국어를 배우지 않는게 좋다~ 라고 focus를 해주시면 될 것 같습니다. 지금 에세이도 fair하지만 마치 is it more advantageous or disadvantageous를 답해주시는 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |