In recent years, many governments pursue economic progress as the most significant goal. However, it is gradually believed that other types of progress such as social welfare are also necessary for the general public. Although it is important to raise the level of a national economy, we should not overlook the value of other progresses.
A case could be put forward that economic growth is playing a very important role in many kinds of government's policies. A lot of money is necessary for the government to introduce new laws or policies, therefore the economic advancement might have to precede others. In addition, if the economy of a nation has have been improved, there would be more job opportunities and more salaries for many people. Moreover, the government can also enhance their image on the world stage and have more political influences.
(Need better transition)
The argument may sound appealing, however, it is not what it seems. In my opinion, governments should focus on not only economic progress, but also social welfare such as public health and education service to reduce the gap between the rich and the poor. This is because governments have the responsibility to make all citizens equal and happy as the basic human rights. By providing a national health care system, people can have more benefits than just getting a job. Also governments should involve equal opportunities for education for the populace, because education is one of the essential factors to live in modern world.
In conclusion, although economic progress is important to manage public administration, I am in agreement that many politicians should meet the demand to improve people's lives as one of the their chief goals.
Score: 8
Comment: 잘 서술해주셨습니다. Silly mistakes에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 또한각 문단을 구별 할 수 있게 한줄을 skip 해주시거나 indent를 해주시는게 좋습니다. 그 외에는 질문의 주제외에 정확한 질문도 올려주시면 감사하겠습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.