▶ Your Answer :The table indicates how consumers in five different countries, namely, Italy, Ireland, Turkey, Spain and Sweden had various consuming rates for three items in 2002.
Food, drinks and tobacco took the highest consumption in all of the five countries. Turkey and Ireland spent 32.14% and 28.91% respectively, while three other countries' figures stayed below 20%. This is a significant point because this dramatic difference is more prominent when numbers are high.
Clothing and footwear ranked at second and Italy consumed the most at the rate of 9%, while four other countries bought less than 6% on them >> clothing과 footwear를 받으므로 복수로 써주겠습니다.
The last goods on consumers' expenditure was leisure and education where the least money was spent. Turkey again consumed the most which was about double of Ireland's and Spain's>>여기서 세 나라의 퍼센트를 언급해주면 아주 좋아요 비교를 해야 하니까요.
In conclusion, food, drinks and tobacco were the most important part of the five countries' expenditure and Turkey was a country with relatively higher consumption rate than among the five countries.
첨삭좀 부탁드리겠습니다. 오랜만에 라이팅하는거라서 감이 하나도 안잡히네요. 숫자가 주어지면 그 부분들을 일일히 다 명시하는게 도움이 되나요? 많은 지적 부탁드리겠습니다
가장 좋은 구조는 서론 - 오버뷰 - 디테일 - 결론입니다
우선 대략적인 트렌트나 큰 형태를 말한 후 나라 별로 비교해서 퍼센트를 기입해주는 것이 좋습니다
Task1 을 할 땐 그래프를 처음 본 사람한테 설명하는 식으로 작성해주세요 저의 경우엔 그래프를 못 보니
스페인과 아일랜드의 두배라 하면 몇 퍼센트인지 모르는 상황이 생기는 듯이요
다만 단락을 너무 나누지 말아주세요 많으면 4개 보통 3개로 하는게 보편적이에요
Task Achievement - 8
Coherence and Cohesion - 7
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
7.0 예상합니다
글이 좋았어요~
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