▶ Your Answer :
Dear Jesica ,
Hello , how are you these days? I have a issue is that I am able to enter in a colleges as cookery
nearby your city. So Therefore, I am writing to ask you to give me some information about colleges in this city.
Actually, I graduated from a cooking college in Korea. However, in my opinion, it was not enough to study for me, I thought.
Moreover,from few years ago ,I quite wanted to study to abroad in a foreign college like such as Stanley College in Perth and
I hope you can give me some advice. For instance, is there an especial course in western cuisine such as
French or Italian's cooking method. Furthermore, I am wondering to know it how much education fee
for a year with scholarship policy. Besides,do I take a English test such as IELTS?
Finally, I think your are better than other informational agencies. Please, let me know for my asking and
I wish to hear this from you as soon as possible.
many thanks,
Jamie.
단어가 대체로 쉬운 것들이 많이 쓰였네요
구조도 다양하게 해주시구요 보기 편하라고 해주신 점 감사드리지만 문단을 나누는 것도 라이팅에 포함되기 때문에 띄지 않고 써주시는게 좋습니다
Task Achievement - 6
Coherence and Cohesion - 6
Lexical Resource - 5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다 문법 조금만 잡으시면 6.0 가능하리라 보입니다
결론 마지막 문장을 제외한 문장에서 모두 한 두번의 오류들이 있고 대체로 쉬운 구조들이라 5점 드렸습니다 |