▶ Your Answer :
The given pie chart and table illustrate the rate of the major reasons for land degradation across the world and according to >>the reasons why the three continents become infertile the continents of the three for the 1990s.
As clearly seen from the pie chart, over-grazing was the greatest reasons for the world land degradation with 25%, which means that it was the same figure with the sum of over-cultivation (28%) >> 25%, 28%라고 명시했는데 the same 을 썼다면 틀린 것입니다 and other factors (7%). While Otherwise, the percentage of deforestation took up just under a third of the total, at 30%, >> 콤마 모두 빼주세요 for the surveyed period.
Turning to the table, the most degraded land was European one with 23%, it made up of deforestation with 9.8%, over-cultivation at 7.7%, and 5.5% for over-grazing>> 계속 같은 구조라면 점수에 긍정적인 영향을 주지 못합니다 with 5.5%. The percentage of Europe's land degradation was four times much more than that of North America, >> 콤마 빼주세요at 5%, and was approximately two times greater than that of Oceania throughout the entire period. It is interesting to note that 13% of land degraded rate in Oceania was mostly composed of over-grazing at 11.3%, it which was the largest figure, compared with 5.5% of Europe and 1.5% of North America.
Overall, most of the lands going through over-grazing have resulted in land gradation across the world, and European land was more dangerous infertile than other continents.
어휘에서 부족한 면이 보입니다
콤마의 사용법도 좀 더 익혀주시길 바랍니다
문단은 3개로만 구성해주세요
문장 구조가 다 너무 비슷합니다 다양하게 해주세요
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy -5
5.5 예상합니다 |