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Recently, we are living and sharing >> sharing what ? with society of globalization>> 세계화의 사회?. Most people are interested in advanced education because they think the education the teaching of advanced countries >> it will helps them to understand about the countries well.>> 발전된 교육이 그 나라를 잘 이해하게 해주나요? 어떤 교육이 어떤 관점에서 그런가요? Although studying abroad may cause homesickness and loneliness, it serves tremendous advantages in our future. Therefore For the reason, I think studying abroad is much better than studying in home country domestic learning.>> 알맞은 서론 형식이 아닙니다 서론에선 문장 전체에 대한 시작 방향을 잡는건데 여기에 although 등이 쓰일 필요가 없습니다 그냥 문제 제기 - 설명 - 본인의 방향(동의/동의 안 함)
Coming out an international education market>>?? 세계 교육 시장 나오는 것? come out 다음엔 전치사가 나옵니다 come out 자체로도 말이 되기 때문입니다 , >> 다 지워주세요
To begin with, most people tend to have a plan to study on high level countries>>high level countries 가 어떤 나라를 말하나요?. Actually, many Asian students know that their countries' >> 소유격 나타내는 어퍼스트로피 붙여주세요 educational systems are low and limited. According to the BBC broadcasting, most students studying in the UK were satisfied with British learning way. >> because 혼자 문장 앞에 바로 쓰지 않습니다 It is because the advanced educational system teaches different things such as freely thought, creativity, >> 세개 이상 나열 중 마지막 and 앞에 콤마 넣어주세요 자유로운 생각, 창의성, 열정을 가르치나요? and passion. For instance, many students for studying art and fashion are going to the U.K or Italy, On the ground that they think they can learn creations>> 어떤 창작을 배우나요? and unique ideas in those countries. It is also true that many famous Korean artists have been studied abroad, once at least; for example, >> 세미콜론이라도 문장의 시작입니다 문두 부사 뒤에 콤마 넣어주세요 Yuna Kim,>> 김연아 선수가 artist 는 아닙니다 Han Na Jang, >> 위와 마찬가지입니다 and PSY, all of them studied their favorite subjects in other countries. >> 주장이 하나가 더 들어간겁니다 밑줄 친 부분들 빼주세요
In addition, >> 문두 부사 뒤에 콤마 넣어주세요 schoolmates in abroad can learn foreign language and various cultures as well,>> 외국에 있는 학교 친구가 외국어와 문화를 배울 수 있다? 무슨 말인가요? 또한 콤마가 아닌 마침표 찍어주세요 In other words, >> 콤마입니다 they can be more competitive candidates>> 뭐에 관한 candidates 인가요? than others, obviously. It is because many companies in Korea actually want to hire bilingual candidates applicants and also they prefer the person who has advanced minds sight in this globalized century era. >>
To sum up, as far as studying concerned, I would rather choose to study in foreign countries,>> 콤마 빼주세요 because 앞뒤론 전치사구가 중간에 나와서 수식으로 콤마로 앞뒤를 나누는 것이 아닌 이상엔 콤마를 넣지 않습니다 because of several reasons that I have mentioned above.
어떤 말인지 잘 모르겠는 문장이 너무 많습니다 갑자기 글쓴 분 혼자만 아는 뜻의 단어가 툭툭 튀어나오는 듯한 느낌을 많이 받습니다 Task1을 먼저 써보셔야 합니다 Task2는 아직 좀 이르신 듯 싶고 문법을 공부해보시길 바랍니다 콤마 사용법에 대해서 거의 모르시는 듯 싶습니다 공부해보시길 바랍니다 얼마 안 걸려요
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 4 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4
4.0 예상합니다
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