▶ Your Answer :
The
bar chart illustrates information about students who passed their high school
entrance exams. It gives figures for both boys and girls, by subject in the
period from 2010 to 2011
It
is clear that they/the students achieved the most in computer science, mathematics and
foreign languages, including French, German and Spanish. And there are some
noticeable gaps in some subjects , in terms of their achievements.
They
performed similarly in both foreign languages and mathematics, with around 47%
and 49% respectively for both genders. In computer science, the figure for male students was
around 14% higher than the female's figure, with 56.3% and 42.1% respectively. Also, there was a were similar trend in chemistry
subject which the percentage of males was around 16% higher than females, with 30.2% and 14.1%
respectively.
On
the other hand, this trend was the opposite in geography subject, with 20.1% of males
and 30.5%
of females, which the percentage of females was around 10% higher than the males'
figure. Moreover, in physics and history subjects, male students' figure was
slightly higher than female students' figure.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 잘 전달을 해주셨습니다. 다만 grouping에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 예를 비슷한 percentage가 있는 subjects를 한 문단으로 정리를 해주시고 gaps가 있는 subjects를 한 문단에 정리를 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한 silly mistakes에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |