Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Many people assert that
students in tertiary education institutions should learn what they desire to, while
others maintain that they should study only limited subjects concerning science
and techology, which are expected to be used in the future. In this essay, I will discuss both
two ideas and will suggest my own one.
Some people insist that
students should learn some subjects regarding science and technology because only
these would be useful in the near future. This is because a few occupations relevant to these areas may remain and the others would disappear, as cutting edge technology
such as artificial intelligence would replace the roles of most fields (어떠한 연유로 latter 를 적으셨는지는 잘 알겠는데, 이 latter 가 깔끔하게 앞의 others 로 이어지는 것은 아니라 그냥 수정해드렸습니다.) the latters. For instance,
a number of kinds of white color job, even including lawyer, would be useless because
some highly developed computer programs highly developed may deal with their tasks quickly and efficiently
rather than compared to human beings in the future. Therefore, university students should study
only several science related subjects which are likely to be helpful to find the
employment.
Although this opinion
is somewhat reasonable, I believe that students in universities should learn what
they like to. This is because it is not certain that which subjects would be useful
in the future, since even subjects which seem as useless would be beneficial to
improve their ability in their workplaces. For example, Kang Jina, a Korean CEO
of a well-knowen electronic corporation, said that a fine art class, his favorite
one in his university, was one of the most useful ones, as it is useful for him
to judge and access the design of products.
In conclusion, even
though both viewpoints are pervasive, I believe that university students should learn what they want to because which subjects would be useful in the future
is not determined yet.
예시를 막 지어서 써냈는데.. 그래도 괜찮을까요?
총평: (6/7/6/6) 6.5
예시이든 통계이든 설문이든, 사실과의 일치 여부가 중요한 것이 아니라, 그 친구들이 얼만큼 앞선 주장과 근거를 깔끔하게 뒷받침해줄 수 있냐가 중요합니다. 즉, 거짓으로 작성했어도 하나의 문단으로 이어지는 과정이 충분히 논리적이면 아무런 상관이 없어요. 단, 특히 통계/설문 등에서 대부분의 수험생분들은 그저 윗말을 그대로 돌려말하는 것에 지나지 않기 때문에 점수가 까이는 것이고요. 지금 두 번째 예시의 경우도 현재 본론 문단의 핵심인 '불확실성' 에 대해 전혀 설명하고 있지 못하기 때문에 적절하지 않은 상황입니다. 항상 예시를 작성할 때, '내 예시가 단순히 윗말을 돌려서 다시 말하고 있지 않은지' '내가 본론에서 말하고자 하는 바+논제의 핵심 키워드들을 구체적으로 설명하고 있는지' 를 체크하실 수 있어야 합니다. 현재 본론 첫 번째 문단의 화이트칼라 예시는 이게 깔끔하게 된 반면, 본론 두 번째 문단의 예시는 전혀 되어있지 않죠. 이에 맞춰 수정해주시고, 예시 구성이 어렵다면 그냥 버리고 주장+근거에서 근거로만 쭉 이어주셔도 됩니다. 차라리 그렇게 하는 게 이상한 예시를 넣는 것보다 백 배 나아요. 수고하셨습니다 :)