▶ Your Answer :There are various opinions on investment in science, nature and engineering. Some people think that, because more technology in various fields is needed, students are tought science at ealier ages in advance. I believe that the government should take pay more attention to science education.
To begin with, although the government spend a huge amount of money on scientific fields, it can earn several times more money after succeeding experiments. Of course, in that it is unstable investment, the government should consider about it carefully. Science impacts on every industry such as housing, a way of working, journey and even art. For instance, nowadays, many artists try to creat works by using technology. Bak Nam Jun is one of the most famous pop artists>>'one of the (최상급) 복수명사' 입니다, who used to cllaborate art with mass media. Likewise, advances of science can make a nation developed, and so young children learning science must be natural.
There are a lot of benefits, but another good point is findings>>discovery 가 어떨까요? in science lead to make new medicines. The investment for research is not only for people who have curiosity about invisible things. Usual individuals can have the benefits as a result of investment. Thus, patients can be cured with drugs, and doctors can gather more information of from the result of treatment such as how fast the patients are recovered or how many medicines they take and so on. In the future, present children will be able to need more vaccines, since the environment is becoming worse, causing cancer or other illnesses. Therfore, youngsters have to be indulged enthusiastic in science for the future.
To sum up, developments of science can change people's lives into better ones. Thus, I believe that longer lifespan and good health must be the first factor to have happy lives, and also the government ought to have make an effort to educate children in science subject more aggressively vigorously.
단어의 사용이 약간 불안정한 곳이 있었던 듯 합니다
빨간 표시한 부분 봐주시구요 단복수 잘 보시길 바랄게요
문제를 읽고 결론을 읽는다면 주제가 약간 벗어났단 걸 알 수 있어요
문제에선 과학이란 과목을 가르치는 것에 더 많은 투자를 해야 한다에 비해 결론에선
과학은 사람들을 더 잘 살게 수명을 길게 행복하게 등의 얘기로 끝을 맺네요
Task Achievement - 6
Coherence and Cohesion - 7
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.0 예상합니다
|