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In this present day and age Nowadays, commercial advertising enrich public's lives by introducing novel items to those. However, the marketing method also encourages people to purchase something unnecessary. become more and more >> increasingly 가 더 좋은 표현입니다 important as a topic for people of various ages and backgrounds. A notion gaining increasing acceptance among many is that people are used to buy something which is not necessary through advertisement . For the reason of the latter, I agree with the statement and in this essay, I will articulate my reasons below.
First of all, there are several elements in terms of easy approaching>> 한 번만 다시 읽어보면 됩니다 "나는 광고가 나쁘다고 생각해 내 주장은 그래서 접근하기 쉽다는 점에서 여러 요소가 있단거야" 말이 안 되죠? 본인의 의견에 따른 맞는 주장을 쓰셔야 합니다. Chief among these>> Chief among them are ~~ 식으로 씁니다, most people always are always exposed to many advertisements. To clarify this point, nowadays, technology of many electronic equipment has been increasingly developed developing increasingly, so any of people can hear various commercial advertisements from diverse methods,>> 콤마 빼주세요 such as TV, radio, .>>나열 세 번째부턴 콤마 넣어주세요 and banner on the street. Additionally, most advertisements are exaggerated, because many company want to make a huge profit by increasing demand of customers. It is enough for exciting people's interest. Therefore, these are just two aspects in connection with people's excessive consumption. >> 한 본문엔 주장 하나만 써주세요
As well As this, Moreover, there are other aspects as to why I agree a large number of people is overspending these days due to the commercial things. One of the most significant reasons for this is that many celebrities have appeared in advertisements. To explain this point, some people might have trust for them,>> 콤마 빼주세요 because 앞뒤론 콤마 들어가지 않습니다 because they are well-know and are considered person who has a good image in society. Furthermore, by advancing economically, as most people are better off than in the past, sometimes, they do not hesitate when they buy something.
In conclusion, it is clear that there is a tendency to believe that people spend too much money than necessary. As a result of the reasons outlined above, I agree with this statement at the outset.
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Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
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