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There is a disagreement regarding the issue
of whether or not music is a good way to get together people from different
cultures and ages. Even though there are people who insist that music is not a
way to bring different people together, (I personally believe that it is an effective
way because music helps people from different cultures and ages unite.) (빨간 괄호 안의 부분은 기호로 표시하자면, 'A는 A이기 때문에 효과적이다' 가 됩니다. 즉, 주장이 곧 근거가 되기 때문에 전혀 적절하지 않게 되는 것이죠.)
Firstly, music can overcome the difference in
cultures because it has a universality among people. It is commonly known that
most civilizations and countries have their own musical culture, so music can help
people unite all over the world. For example, BTS who is the idol group in
Korea plays a crucial role in getting together people from various cultures.
Their music, especially lyrics that console and empower someone are many influences have lots of influence on young people. Therefore, people who live in different cultures sing along BTS’
songs together. It shows that music outweighs the difference in cultures, which
can also help people unite. (이 문장, 특히 쉼표 이전 부분은 매우 좋네요.)
In addition, music can bring people from different
ages together since it has a melody and rhythm that anyone can enjoy. Even
though each generation favors a particular type of music, certain music is
popular and is sung along to people among all ages. For instance, these days there is
a trend called new-tro which means new and retro. Such a trend involves
fashion, music, and so on. Therefore, the young generation tends to enjoy music
that the old generation is fond of a long time ago. As a result, it is notable
that all ages enjoy listening to music, which can overcome the generation gap.
In summary, it is evident that music has a
universality which anyone can empathize, so it provides people with a good way to
get together. For these reasons, I insist that music can help people unite despite
different cultures and ages.
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