Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?
These days, the various national events and festival are overflowing around us. Some people believe a lot of cost from national events is being spent that it helps boost the nation and local economy. However I do not agree with this opinion, because I think authorities need to make more practical use of the large amount of cost spent on events.
To begin with, the government should spend more on welfare for the poor than various commemorative events. There are always difficult neighnors around us. So (문장을 and but so 로 시작하는 것은 좋지 못합니다.) I think we have to use the budget to help them. For example, children and elderly who can not eat in proverty should be given a certein amount of food, while those who suffer from unemployment should be give a new vocational education to get a job.
In addition, they (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상을 대명사로 서술해서는 안 됩니다.) should create a better social system for the public and the nation. I think an excellent social system will improve our quality of life and create a safe society. For example, improving the public transportation system and maintaining and repairing streets and streets to prevent crime as well as expanding public restrooms, libraries and parks will have a better effect on our lives.
To sum up, I think if the government significantly reduces the cost of many national events and instead uses its to improve the infrastructure and the welfare of the people, it is more effective.
글자수 275
시간 45분
이전점수 없음
목표점수 6.0
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
어차피 6점은 그렇게 높은 점수가 아니고, 제너럴은 아카데믹과 달리 task 1에서 감점될 이유도 없기 때문에 이정도면 충분히 6점에 도달하실 겁니다. (7점 이상을 위해서는 내용이 더 보완되어야하지만, 일부러 말씀드리지 않았습니다. 그거 신경쓰다가 현재 잡힌 구조도 망가질 수 있어서요.) 단, 시간이 조금 오버되었으니까 시험 전까지 최대한 단축해주시고, 파란색에 해당하는 철자 오류가 나지 않도록 주의해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)