안녕하세요!!
제 목표 점수는 6.5 ~ 7.0 입니다. 항상 이렇게 첨삭해주셔서 감사합니다.
The given chart and table give information about values and percentage changes respectively based on several categories in one country from 2015 to 2016. (<----이 문장에 가장 중요한 exports 가 빠져있습니다.) Looking from an overall perspective, it is clear that values in all but gems and jewellery went up slightly in 2016 compared to 2015.
(엔터는 두 번 칩니다. 이것도 점수에 들어가므로 주의해주세요~)
As for petroleum products which were the best most (task 1에서 best 쓸 일은 99.99999999% 없다고 보시면 됩니다.) lucrative products with over $60 billion in 2015, they were almost caught up with by engineered goods with earning rising by 8.5 percent points (퍼센트포인트는 '비율 수치' 간 뺄셈을 할 때 쓰입니다. 여기의 경우 비율 수치가 아니라 절대적인 수치인 돈 간 퍼센트변화를 보여주는 상황이므로, 그냥 8.5%라고 작성해주시면 됩니다. 다른데에도 다 바꿔주세요!) in just one year. When it comes to textiles, the figures of export income were approximately half of petroleum products’ export earnings in both of 2015 and 2016. By contrast, a the fluctuation of textile was the largest one among other type’s change by 15.24% to just over $30 billion, while there was almost no change in the amount of income from agricultural products. Finally, the only reduction in revenue occurred in gems and jewellery by 5.18 percent points to roughly $40 billion.
총평: (6/7/7/7) 7.0
위에 말씀드린 퍼센트포인트 관련해서 주의해주셔야하는데, 이 외에는 크게 문제 없었습니다. selee 님은 7점은 몰라도 6.5는 웬만하면 넘기시니까 시험장에서 자신감 갖고 작성해주셔도 좋을 겁니다. 대신 시간 맞추는 연습은 꼭 해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :)