The given bar chart illustates the proportiong of profits compared to the thtal earning in US movies in seven genres in 1995, 2000 and 2005. Those five genres are Adventure, COmedy, Action, Drama, Thriller, Musicals and Animation.
Overall, it is clear that the percantage of profit in Drama and Action (여기를 포함해서, 다른 항목들도 싹 다 소문자 시작해주시면 됩니다.) decreased constantly over 10-year period in question, while the proportion of profit in Comedy and Animation increased gradually from 1995 to 2005. Even though While Adventure had a low of profit in 2003 before soaring tp roughly 25%, Thriller and Musicals decreased in 2005 after having a peak in 2005.
Looking at the chart more closely, it is apparent that the profit of Drama had roughly a third of all profit in US cinema in 1995, which was bigger that the combination of portion of three genres; Triller, Musicals and Animation. On the other hand, in 2000, the portion of Comedy had surpassed that of Drama by increasing about 10 percent (지금은 수학 시간이 아니기 때문에 굳이 이러한 뺄셈을 할 필요는 없습니다. 단, 나는 굳이 빼야겠다 싶으면 퍼센트포인트를 붙여주셔야 하고요. 이에 대해서는 총평에서 링크를 넣어드리겠습니다. 참고로 숫자도 10이 아닌 5가 되어야 합니다.) from 1995 to 2000. The major genre like Adventure, Action and Drama had decreased in rate in 2000, while those of the other genres of Thriller and Musicals incresed slightly. At the last, in 2005, the portion of Adventure sored from 10 percent in 2000 to roughly 25 percent in 2005, which occupied the second highest portion of all profits of the US cinema. The percentage of comedy increased constantly from 1995 to 2005, which was similar to the portion of Dramam in 1995 when it was a peak in the proporion of the profit of the American cinema compared to the other movie groups.
총평: (6/6/5/5) 5.5
마찬가지로 최우선 수정사항은 철자가 되겠습니다. 철자에서 문제가 생길 경우, 단순히 그 자체에서의 감점을 넘어서 글에 대한 인상도 악화시키므로 꼭 철자를 정확하게 적는데에 집중해주세요!
퍼센트포인트의 경우는 밑의 링크를 참고해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_method&type=url&uid=486596