The given table provides information about expenses of four car manufacturers for five different advertising channels in the UK in 2002, measured in millions of dollars.
Overall, all car companies spent the most money on TV commercials, while expenditures were allocated in the cinema were the least. Moreover, for advertisement in radio, companies spent the same amount of money which is $15 million.
To be specific, Renault spent $45 million in TV advertisements which is the same amount for Rover’s expense in press. (둘은 전혀 비교의 대상이 아닙니다. 항목이 동일한 것도 아니고, 그렇다고 회사가 동일한 것도 아니죠. 숫자가 같다고 무조건 넣는 게 아니라, 비교의 가치가 있을 때에만 넣어주세요~) The difference of advertising cost in outdoor between Renault and Rover was $5 million that Renault spend more money as $1 million. While Rover did not allocate any advertisements for cinema, Renault paid $6 million.
Meanwhile, Cetirizine
spend spent more money to advertise their products in press compared to Vauxhall with
$12 million. However, it is clear that Vauxhall paid to cinema as $5 million,
that Cetirizine did not consumed at all. For advertising in outdoor, both Vauxhall
and Cetirizine allocated an amount of money as $7 million and $3 million respectively which Vauxhall
spend spent more money.
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
어휘 쪽은 spent 가 너무 과하게 반복되고 있으므로 주의해주셔야 합니다.
문단 구분을 할 때, 위의 두 개를 하나에, 밑의 두 회사를 또다른 하나의 문단에 묶어주신 것 까지는 매우 좋았습니다. 그러나 그러한 묶음의 기준을 글에 직관적으로, 구체적으로 보여주시지 못한 것은 아쉬웠고요. 전자와 후자의 가장 큰 차이는 바로 Press 쪽에 대한 투자의 정도이죠. 그러므로 이걸 글 내에 '직접적으로', '대놓고' 표현해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)