▶ Your Answer : Some people believe that teaching children how to be good members in our society>> 문제에서 발췌하는건 Task1에서만 하는게 좋습니다 너무 위와 비슷해요 한 문장 자체가 has to be practiced by parents, but others think school is responsible and suirtable for teaching them. In my opinion, children have to learn to become respectful >> good 은 너무 심심해서 바꿔줬습니다 people through their school. There are several reasons for my opinion. School teaches formal schooling as well as a well rounded >> 가운데 - 빼주세요 education.
It provides the schooling to children through subjects.>> it 이 지칭하는게 뭔가요? The schooling 을 주어로 세우는게 좋을 듯 싶습니다 It>> 자꾸 schooling이 반복되는 것보다 대명사로 받아주세요 is really important for children because it is the most vital >> 앞에 이미 important를 썼으니 다른 걸 써주세요 참고로 crucial critical vital important fundamental 등 중요하단 뜻이 있는 단어들입니다 stage in their life to learn a lot of things. Through many subjects such as science, math, instruments, languages and etc, so on >> etc 는 축약형이기에 쓰시면 안 됩니다 and so on을 써주세요 they can get acquire >> get은 너무 많은 뜻이 있어서 대부분의 곳에 사용이 가능해 어휘가 부족하단 평을 받을 수 있습니다 some ideas such as what they want to be and dedicate for their society. They can find their potential during studying, but their parents are not certified for teaching these things.
In additition to that I stated above, the school is the best place for teaching a well rounded>> 가운데 - 빼주세요 education. The Children spend most of their time in their school, and also they meet up and talk with different teachers and friends. The teachers teach and instruct morals, laws and etiqutte too as well. Meeting friends also can help to develop their personality. Their guardians >> parents가 너무 쓰이는 듯 해서 바꿨습니다 are usually very busy, so they cannot have enough time to take care of and look after their children delicately.
In conclusion, the school has taught children in the formal schooling as well as the well rounded education. For this reason, there is no question that the school is a place teaching children how to become good members in our society.
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both views 를 말하라했는데 본문 둘 다 한 쪽에 집중된 글이네요
Task Achievement - 5
Coherence and Cohesion - 6
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0~5.5 예상합니다 |