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Some people believe that the high price of gasoline is the best solution to decrease the growing traffic as well as pollution problems. I do >> 이중 동사로 굳이 강조하지 않아도 될 듯 싶습니다 partially agree with this point, but it cannot be the best measure to solve these problems.>> 가솔린의 높은 가격이 교통정체를 감소시킬 가장 좋은 방법이다 난 이 의견에 동의한다 하지만 이건 이 문제를 해결하는 가장 좋은 방법이 아니다 >> 어색하죠? 가장 좋은 방법인데 가장 좋은 방법이 아니란건요 그래서 중간에 partially 넣었습니다
It is true that increasing the petrol prices may help people to use more public transportations or drive their own car less, but this will not have a huge impact on solving those problems. I believe the most important thing is that people have awareness on the bad effects on heavy traffic and environmental pollution. In order to give them this awareness, governments should make a campaign as well as provide better public transportations.
Firstly, governments should invest more money on facilities of the transports. Some people use their own car because the buses and subways are too crowded and uncomfortable, especially during the rush hours. Governments should provide more public transportations during the rush hours to provide the better public environment of any sites and make people use public transportations more often frequently. Moreover, governments can encourage people to use electric cars for people who do not have difficulty to access public transportations access near because of the distance of their houses or work places and give them a better tax benefit for using the environmentally friendly vehicles.
In conclusion, increasing a fuel price may help to reduce the heavy traffic and pollution problems, but there are some better measures to solve these problems such as better public transportations and provide the hybrid cars or electric car users a tax benefit and so on. Consequently, these will be approached to people in a good way. >> 나누기 전엔 결론 자체가 한 문장으로 이어져 버렸네요 너무 깁니다 이렇게 긴 문장은 좋지 않아요
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Task Achievement - 7
Coherence and Cohesion - 6
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.0 예상합니다 |