▶ Your Answer : Nowadays, many of us must have experienced either traffic congestion or been suffered from illnesses caused by air pollution or both. As a consequence of the situation facing a severe crisis, the government found a solution to eradicate any pollutants and reduce congesting roads by increasing the price of fuels. Some people contend that it would work among commuters with their own cars, but I do not think that it would work for as long as they expected.
Although higher prices of petrol can instantly dwindle the number of vehicles that are used for people to get to reach >> get은 표현이 너무 많아 어휘력이 안 좋게 보일 수도 있습니다 work or school, it is a only short-sighted solution for the pressing problems. People in the middle and lower classes would decide to take public transport to avoid the taxing from petrol prices, while the rich would not care of whatever it costs for their cars. Therefore, it is not a relevant answer which can work among all walks of life>>어떤 뜻인가요? . Additionally, increasing the price of petrol plagues ordinary people with not only higher petrol prices but also raising ones >> 같은 단어의 연속 반복은 좋지 않습니다 throughout all kinds of products, as a repercussion of increasing the prices of fuels.
To solve fundamental problems, the government should organise city's public transportation system well so that people can be encouraged to commute by buses or trains and so on. One research, for example, showed that several cities, which have an very well-organised transport system, have enhanced their environment from contamination by attracting people to hop onto the buses. Also Moreover,>> 문두에 also는 쓰지 않습니다 the government should keep developing eco-friendly vehicles that are operated with biofuel or unleaded petrol. Finally, we always should be always >> 조동사 be동사 뒤 일반동사 앞 기억해주세요 aware of the gratitude to our environment before ,if reaches to the irreversible situation.
In conclusion, even though some people are convinced to increase fuel prices to prevent our environment and solve traffic jam, we should find long-sighted solutions such as the expansion of public transports and and exploration of free contaminating vehicles.
확실히 효과적인게 명백히 드러나지 않은 듯 싶습니다 드러낸 다음 예를 들거나 부연 설명을 충분하게 해주시는게 좋을 듯 싶어요
Task Achievement - 7
Coherence and Cohesion - 6
Lexical Resource - 7
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.5 예상합니다 |