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As you could seen that developments of science technology brings about significant alterations in the modern society. Some people argue that the advance of machines and computers results in that there are no reasons to study or work >> 문제와 세 단어 이상 같으면 표절입니다 hardly. From my point of view, it would be never substitutions in all sections of occupations and should be discussed that reputation below.
Due to Since the advent of industrialization in the UK in the 19th century, our lives have changed significantly and many advantages have been taken place many advantages from the 19th century to present. Firstly, tremendous unwelcome works such as difficulty and dirty maneuvers are replaced as a with machines and computers. This is means that they would substitute do some unpleased works instead of human's workplace. >> 다른 주장이 나올 때가 아닌 예시가 나와서 설명에 대한 보충을 해줄 차례입니다 Secondly, machines and computers would never take a break as long as humans cater an electric power stop supplying electricity or fueling instantly , >> 반면에 라는 뜻을 가진 while 앞엔 콤마가 붙습니다 while all people must be taken sufficient resting and sleeping. This is why some people maintain that humans should not pour into their energies to study or work should fuel themselves.
Despite many advantages of machines of computers, I firmly assert that machines and computers never substitute humans studying and working in creative fileds such as art, music, >> 나열 중 마지막 and 앞엔 콤마를 넣어줍니다 and teaching. I agree to some extent that some jobs which do not need any creativeness, however, >> however 는 문장을 이어주는 기능이 없습니다 but they could not mimic creativeness of humans. Also, also so and or but은 문두에 쓰지 않습니다 machines and computers are just product inventions of humans. It is means that there are many possibilities which cause any fatal problems like such as a bug and shutdown.>> 주제에선 벗어났습니다 기계의 출현에 대한 단점이 아닌 그저 기계에 대한 단점이네요
Could you illustrate a society without any machines and computers? Nowadays, machines and computers are requisite elements to live modern society and required commodity in my life. Advancement of their dedicate our convenient lives those invents, however, They cannot substitute our life entirely.
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Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
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