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As a society progresses, people are putting emphasizing much significance of education. Regarding this issue, while a big chunk number of the population believes that obtaining high proportions of young people at universities is essential and valuable for societies, others think that it is impracticable and valueless. Before rendering my own opinion, I believe that discussing the both views is the best way to arrive at foolproof decision and my bases are outlined below. In this essay, I am providing both views and my personal opinion.
Primarily, it can be noticed without difficulty what young populations learning from universities will have a lot of beneficial influences on numerous ascepts in our societies. To elaborate, since universities are the vital educational places for teaching students experitise such as morden technology, social science, >> 3개 이상 나열 중 마지막 and 앞엔 콤마 넣어주세요 and economics. If a country cannot provide a high ratio of young people at universities, they would will not be able to promise remarkable further developments and innovations in the future.
Although the aforementioned assertion has sensible reasons, there are voices in strong opposition saying that, for some young people, it is much better and more financially beneficial to accomplish skills based appernticeship learning>> than what ?, since not everyone has academic talents. With rational thinking, a society needs workers as well as it needs thinkers. Unquestionably, if everyone is highly educated, there will >> if 절의 동사와 주절의 조동사 시제 일치시킵니다 not be many people who are willing to occupy the other jobs such as carpenters, restaurant servers, and street cleaners.
To conclude, based on the aforementioned statements, I have finally come to understand that not everyone should go to university. >> however는 문장을 이어주는 기능이 없습니다 끊어주세요 However, depending on each society, a suitable proportion of young population at universities can ensure the promising future.
본론의 첫 줄은 주장입니다
both views 라고 할지라도 그들만의 주장이 있습니다
본문 1에 both views를 쓰고 본문 2에 본인 의견을 쓰는게 낫겠네요
같은 단어가 여러번 쓰입니다 단어 사용이 적절하지 않은 곳도 있었구요
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다 |