▶ Your Answer :
The bar graph compares shows the total number of minutes of telephone calls in the UK in three different sorts of calls over the period of 7 years starting from the year of 1995 to 2002.
At first glance, it is clear that there was an upward trend in the amount of time people spent in the national, international, >> 세개 이상 항목 중에 마지막 and/or 앞엔 콤마가 붙구요 international national 모두 형용사인데 mobiles 는 명사입니다 병렬로 모두 형용사로 해주세요 and mobiles throughout the period shown, while . However, the number of minutes of local calls decreased gradually after 1999. As seen from the chart, in 1995, the local calls on the fixed-line calls were the most popular one; people spend with more than 70 billion minutes in local calls . while the national and international and the mobile all sorts of calls were used for just around 40 billion and under 10 billion minutes respectively. In the year 1999, the number of minutes of the local calls reached the peak to approximately 90 billion minutes, a rise of about 20 billion in 4 year and rose by 20 billion in 4 years. However, from the year, there was a constant drop of over by 20 billion in another 3 years in the amount of spent time in the local calls.
On the other hand, the national and international calls generally became more and more popular to around 60 billion minutes in 2002. It was almost a similar figure for hours of use of local call use in the same year. The number of minutes of mobiles also rapidly increased rapidly during the period and reached about 40 billion in the year of 2002.
IELTS writing이 항상 제게는 너무 어렵네요 ㅠㅠ the number of minutes 를 어떻게 바꾸면 좋을지 ㅠㅠ 첨삭 받고 열심히 수정해보겠습니다!
ㅠ 사진이 어떻게 해도 안올라가네요 ㅠㅠ
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237자가 작성됐네요 160-170자 정도가 적당합니다 237자면 거의 task2 수준입니다 또한 비교보단 단순 나열의 형태고 세세한 것들 마저 하나하나 다루면서 글자수 점점 늘어만가는건 정보 분석이나 파악력 혹은 글을 구성하는 실력이 낮단 말입니다 the number of minutes 대신 바로 시간을 써주시는 등 전치사를 이용해보셔도 됩니다 the amount of time used in local calls 등으로 표현하셔도 됩니다 혹은 the time used(spent) in local call 등으로 하셔도 되겠습니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다 |