▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is not effective
to imprison criminals because it could infringe on their basic rights. Therefore,
they claim that it is more efficient to edify and to teach offenders techniques
since it could help them to adapt to society. In this essay, I will discuss the
opinion from various(various라고 하시면 2개 보다 많은 관점을 이야기 하시는 것 같습니다) standpoints and suggest my perspective on the issue.
National institutions have had criminals
thrown into prisons because they have an obligation to protect innocent people
from cruel offense and to maintain society as a safe state. In other words, governments
should consider the security of community and citizens as the priority. Furthermore,
to keeping public order, it is unavoidable that felons should be strictly dealt
with and sent to a jail even if their rights are sometimes violated since it is
undeniable that stability of community is the most important value. Besides,
people should not overlook the fact that human rights could not be respected in
unstable society, which should accompany with strict punishments.
On the other hand, it has to be noticed
that the process of socialization and moralization could not have a great
influence on offenders. For instance, it is generally accepted that the
recidivism rate is continuously increasing despite of edification and
vocational education to help culprits adapt to society after they are released.
Based on the fact, it means that educational methods are ineffective in coping
with the problem. Consequently, governments cannot but imprison felons to
suppress recurrence of crimes in a society.
To conclude, it is obvious that it is
difficult to rehabilitate criminal through educative measures and it is
imperative for nations to keep secure conditions of a community. Therefore, I firmly
believe that prison sentence and strong punishments should be operated to
maintain society as optimum and safeguard people from crimes.
Score: 5 Comment: 정확한 질문이 무엇인지 몰라서 점수를 정확히 주지를 못했습니다. 만약에 discuss both views 질문이라면 두 관점에서 서술를 해주셔야합니다. 하지만 세 번쨰 문단은 for 보다는 against문단이기 때문에 discuss both views 처럼 들리지 않습니다. 또한 두 번째 문단은 for 인데 세 번째 against라서 흐름도 약간 어색합니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
|