▶ Your Answer :
It is a world-wide issue that there are many highly qualified
graduates who are not always successful in finding a perfectly fitting career in
time. But before discussing the reason and the solution of this unemployment
problem of this specific group referred here, we need to be clear on the
definition of the unemployed unemployment graduates here. The people who are planning on
proceeding in an academic career are not included to focus on the majority of
graduates related to the unemployment issue. <(sounds irrelevant)
First, I believe among many other reasons, the most direct factor
causing more unemployed graduates is unpractical university education system. Too Academic university curriculum makes it hard for students hard to focus on cultivating
useful job skills such as business communication or computer usage.<(how? why?) For example,
when I majored in Chinese in university, since too many mandatory Chinese
literature courses <(만은 중국 문학 수업이 어떻다는것인지말씀 해주셔야합니다)., students could not have enough chance to learn about
Chinese interpretation or translation skills which could be more useful in the
future carrier. <(무엇을 point out 하고싶은건지 clear 하지 않습니다. 또한 이게 모든 사람한테 apply 할 수 있나요?)
In my opinion, by improving the school curriculum, the graduate unemployment
problem can be solved. Universities have to open courses that are more applicable than
just academic for students. And including field-trips or even an internship
opportunity in the curriculum itself can be very helpful for students to
prepare themselves for the future carrier. For instance, many of students
these days have chances to apply for the internship positions introduced by
their school. And while doing the internship, students not only can get a
content to fill up in the resume, but also can start to prepare the practical
skills that they find useful in the future. <(이미 요즘에는 학생들이 대학교에서 소개해준 internship이 있다고 하시고 계십니다. 하지만 이게 solution이며 이게 없어서 학생들이 employed 될 수 없다면 논리적으로 어색합니다.)
In the real workplace, there
are more requirements virtues demanding to a candidate just than merely an educational background.
That is why having a related experience such as a field trip is positive for a future graduate. And the universities, as the major education, can play an
important role to keep the highly qualified graduates from unemployment.
Score: 5 Comment: 글 쓰시는데에는 큰 문제가 없어 보입니다. 하지만 논리적으로 weak 합니다. 질문은 이미 highly educated students에 대해 물어 보고 있습니다. 그렇기 때문에 학교 curriculum 문제라고 하기에는 크게 reasonable하지 않습니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 코멘트를 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |