▶ Your Answer :Old generations have a wide knowledge of in life from all practical experiences. This wisdom can be taught to young generations while young generation can teach old people about everything based on information. Seniors can teach young people about the life experiences. Since they have lived longer than young generation, they could have experienced more techniques than that of young people. The life experiences such as practical skills, communication skills and social skills, can be learned from old generation. These skills are helpful and effective since these are still in use. Other than life experiences, young people can teach everything to old people. The young generation is known as the information age,. The amount of information cannot be compared with the old people. From those massive information, young generation can have more knowledge than that of seniors. All the information related to medicine, governmental proposals, benefits, biology and compensation systems can be taught by from young people. <Need better coherence> A young person is are usually good at dealing with technologies. Seniors can learn technologies from younger generations so that they can enjoy comfortable lifestyles that the machine provides. Because technologies are introduced and updated frequently, seniors can expect to learn technologies constantly. (Need better transition) Nowadays, the technology has become a part of daily lives. Therefore, it can be important to know how to use of technologies. Seniors, might require a help from younger people about the use of technologies. <Need better connection> In the case of Paying for the utility fees, health benefits or change of addresses is the perfect example for this. Because all that daily tasks could require some technological knowledge to complete, it would be difficult for seniors. In conclusion, old people could provide their own wisdom to younger generations. However, due to development of technologies, young people can teach the old generations about this latest invention.
Score: 6 Comment: 젊은 사람은 older generation한테 가르켜 줄수 있는지 없는지 보다는 older generation과 younger generation이 서로 무엇을 가르켜 줄수 있는지 서술을 해주신 것 같습니다. Older generation이 무엇을 가르켜 줄수 있는지 에 대한 내용보다는 왜 younger generation이 older generation한테 무언가를 가르켜줄수 있다고 생각하시는지 서술을 해주시고 그 다음에 무엇을 가르켜 줄 수 있는지 서술을 해주시면 될 것 같습니다. 문법상 전치사 사용에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |