▶ Your Answer :
To be the leader in a group, it may
require to handle many responsibilities to handle. In comparison, members of a group
would have secure <(secure what?) and no responsibility required tasks to do persistently.
Therefore, for having the same job and no burden of creating the future goals, being a members of a group would be better.
A leader has many tasks to complete and
the consequences of those tasks may be a severe; massive amount of company
expenses to be spent to fix the issues or the costs the leader’s positions to
cover the loss. On top of this, a leader must have visionary eyes. The leaders
should be able to have bird-eyes views to lead the project successfully and as
well as see the foreseeable futures to link with the jobs. For example, recognizing the
recognise the customer's needs and the ways to meet the needs, can be
considered as one of the leader's tasks.
In contrast, the members’ tasks are
comparatively simple and stable. Without having the visionary eyes, they just
need to follow the orders from the top/higher-ups/superiors. Since all the responsibility for such a
task belongs to the higher ups/superiors/ is going back to the top, members (employees) do not have to worry about the
risks of losing their positions. Also, they do not have to worry about the
fixing the issues in the worst case. Employees are at the bottom of the organisation’s hierarchy, so the companies do not expect them to lead the company
or requesting them to find the path in the future.<(what path?) <(회사에서 top/위 이는 표현은 한국식 표현인 것 같습니다)
In conclusion, a member's job becomes simpler and
easier on a daily basis because members of a group do not have to hold many
responsibilities compared to the leader. Therefore, a member's role would be
better.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 다만 표현이나 문맥/문구상 알맞는 단어형태에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정이나 코멘트를 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |