Global warming is actually not real and politicians and media should spend time debating more serious issues such as how to decrease poverty.
To what extent do you agree with the above statement?
As the level of damage caused by climate change or extreme weather has constantly rose, the interest and participation in the environmental protection has been greatly promoted. At the same time, however, some people insist that dealing (이걸 하는 주체를 명시해주셔야 합니다. 여기의 경우 정치인들과 언론이 되겠고요.) with other serious social problems should be priorities than the environmental issues. I believe that both would be equally worth for society as well as every individual.
First of all, a stable environment is a precondition
for human beings which cannot be ignored in terms of protection and conservation. The ecosystem Ecosystem that provides every organism foods and habitats is substantially
vulnerable to a tiny environmental perturbation. Thus, the environmental protection
is essential to avoid possible loss of our source of life induced by the natural
disasters and instability of ecosystem. Besides, the environmental issue such
as global warming is directly linked to human health. Exposure to smog and
greenhouse gases, the main factor of global warming, would accelerate respiratory
and eye-related diseases.
On the other hand, although it is true that protection of the environment is considerably important, urgent social issues such poverty, disease and illiteracy cannot be outweighed. These serious social problems are fundamentally associated with the quality and standard of life, which means low quality of educational and medical services would discourage people not to improve their life and also overcome their constant hardship. In addition, helping people who suffer from deadly social problems can alleviate the economic and information gap among people to some extent.
In short, healthy environment and society are essential elements, regarding the means and standard of living and both have immense impacts on society and people, which means people could be negatively affected by carelessly managed issues. For this reason, comprehensive discussion (여기도 마찬가지로 주체의 명확화가 필요하고요.) about both the environmental and social issues could be required for every and each individual in society.
총평: (6/7/8/7) 7.0
실수로 비슷한 문단을 두 번 넣으신 것 같은데 그걸 배제하고 말씀드리자면, 글 자체는 충분히 잘 써주셨습니다. 서/결론에서 주체가 등장하지 않거나 왜곡되는 경우가 있었는데 그쪽에만 조금 주의해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 이정도면 적어도 task 2에서는 크게 문제가 없을 겁니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)
In short, healthy environment and society are
essential elements, regarding the means and standard of living. For the reasons
above, supportive and active interest and efforts for both the environment and society
should be equally required.