Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.
Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are opposite opinions concerning how to handle a bad circumstance. Some argue that it is better to accept it, but I firmly believe overcoming a bad situation will lead people to a positive path by challenging new things.
Firstly, it is more sensible for ordinary people to accept difficulties when there seem no other options left. This is because most people may feel under pressure during challenging new works due to uncertain risks. For example, there were several people trying to run their own businesses in order to avoid unsatisfactory jobs in the previous companies. Unfortunately, most of those who threw (기존 표현도 틀린 건 아닙니다. 단, 더 매끄러운 표현으로 바꿔드렸고요.) people throwing themselves in the new businesses eventually ran in debt because they had lacked the knowledge and experiences on the industries, which made them fall behind in this ever-changing world. This shows that changing a current imperfect situation would be more dangerous than staying in it.
Although there are several critical issues on avoiding unsatisfactory circumstances, trying to get over it is much better to improve yourself. This is because you will gain huge confidence and satisfaction from what you (글을 쓸 때 2인칭은 사용하지 않는다고 보시면 됩니다. 구어 쪽에 쏠리는 표현이라, 연설문을 쓰는 것도 아닌 상황에서 쓰기에는 조금 무리가 있어요.) have went through. For instance, there is a band vocalist in Korea who was previously a high school teacher. Fed up with his repetitive daily routine, the teacher resigned and decided to join a local band as a front singer. A few years later, he had an interview with a major magazine in Korea, saying he felt more satisfaction than before and even became economically successful in the music industry. This example illustrates that improving a bad situation would bring a more positive result in your life.
To sum up, it is clear that accepting an imperfect situation is sometimes safer considering taking risks. However, I strongly believe that challenging is more likely to be beneficial for our future lives.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
잘 써주셨습니다. 애초에 어휘 문법 때문에 웬만하면 task 2에서는 일정 점수 밑으로 안 떨어질 거라! 2인칭은 이유불문 안 쓴다고 보시면 되고요.
초코파우치님의 점수는 task 1에서 감점되는 걸 얼마나 최소화하느냐에 달려있으므로, 이쪽 연습도 해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)
다른 문제로 글을 한번 더 써봤습니다.
긴 글 읽어주셔서 정말 감사합니다. 언제나 피드백 해주셔서 정말 감사합니다! 좋은 하루 보내세요!