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Children are the ones who will decide the fate of our future. Nowadays, their mental and physical growth is faster than ever before. However, only recently, people have noticed that many children are suffering from going through various diseases illnesses that are caused by the modern culture & and lifestyle >> 한 단어입니다.>> 비만이 주요 질병이란 얘기는 없네요
Most importantly, children’s nutrition plays a great role, but in the 21st century, it is too excessive.>> the young are having too much fat, which leads to obesity. In many countries, it is believed that children should eat a lot and play well much in order to grow up well. Their parents almost force them to eat, which results in increase in obesity ratio of children >> 갑자기 왜 나오나요?. Accordingly, their intake of fast-food intake has also risen over the recent years,>> and 앞에 콤마가 있으면 주어가 같다는 말인데 새로운 완전한 문장이 나왔으므로 콤마 빼주세요 and this is the main cause for their obesity. >> It is >> because는 문두에 나오지 않습니다 because it is cheap,>> 뒤에 명사가 없을 경우는 콤마 빼고and 로 묶어주세요 convenient to access, and attractive to children, they tend to have them>> them이 뭘 가리키나요 more often increasing the demand for fast food.>> 문법이 어떻게 되는건가요
As mentioned, the main reason for diseases such as diabetes>>?? among the children has some correlation with the excessive consumption of food with high calories and fat. The best method to reduce the obesity ratio ratio of obesity of children is to limit the supply and access to fast-food. In general, it is not difficult at all to gain the six fundamental sources of nutrition without having fast food. It is merely the taste that children are addicted to. So >> so also and or but 문두에 쓰지 않습니다 by raising awareness of low fat food and promoting this type of food in public will change their attitudes towards nutrition. Teachers at school can also teach them how to eat well for a better quality of life>> 이렇게 된건 새로운 의견 즉 주장입니다.
However,>> 부사 뒤에 콤마가 나옵니다 또한 결론에서 첫 시작은 마무리를 보여주는 부사로 해주세요 To conclude, awareness is the key above all. In conclusion, >> 부사가 여기 나왔네요 문장 순서가 잘못된겁니다I suggest to reduce the obesity ratio ratio of obesity of children is crucial in preventing diseases among them. Keeping them on the right track to grow up mentally and physically is up to the adults. Therefore, we must be aware of their problems and provide them with a good environment for their growth.
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