주제: Cars have made greater impact on society than airplanes.
Releasing strain on environment while using transports is great interest of people regardless of race and age. For this reason, they are trying to take less transportations as possible while not answering the issue regarding which transportation has that which transportation have more impact on society. In fact, it appears to most of people that cars have affected society than more planes. Personally, I also agree with this idea.
First and foremost, cars make more accidents per day than planes make. The reason why it is commonly believed that planes would have more crashes than cars are due to different scale of media coverage. Car accidents are not discussed seriously in media as it is an everyday event and it is not as dramatic as plane does. Owing the fact that plane crashes would produce greater number of death, people started to believe that planes are more dangerous and therefore having more impact on our life. Surprisingly, taking planes is safer to people but people do not realize it. Therefore, automobiles have been affected people's life in greater value without letting people know.
Secondly, there are more cars on road than aeroplanes in sky. A plane Plane skepticist would raise issue that planes need more gasoline and produce more methane gas than cars need. In reality, cars have been outnumbered the number of airplanes by 66 percent (이런 걸로 절대 감점되는 건 아닌데, 아마 실제 수치는 66프로보다 훨씬 높지 않을까 싶네요.), according to the global environmental protection committee. It is important to note that cars can take fewer people while and planes are used by larger value of people. As cars can usually take 5 people at maximum, people would need more cars to travel with groups of people. This results in using more gasolines, therefore leading to air pollution. On contrast, airplanes do not require lots of gasolines as soon as they are stable enough thanks to balance force of wind and its weight.
To recapitalize, cars have been outnumbered planes and have more accidents per day than planes do. (본론에 언급되어있는 순서로 바꿔주셔야 합니다.) For these reasons, I am certain that cars have made an affect been affected on society in a more negative way than planes have did.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
이정도면 충분히 잘 써주신 글이고, 채점관에 따라 task2에서는 7.5까지도 가능할 것 같습니다. 중간중간에 자잘한 표현상의 문제만 조금 손봐주시면 될 것 같아요.
+결론에서와 같이 본론을 요약할 때에는, 별다른 이유가 없는 이상 무조건 본론의 순서대로 요약해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)