With the evolution of technology, our lifestyles >> lifestyle은 한 단어입니다 have been changed to rely on computers. Most people in modern era use computers at their home, work, and even school. There are huge advantages studying with computer other than with a real person. I believe that computer can fully take fully the role of teacher in the future.
Many educational information can easliy be easliy found on computer. You >> People 이라고 써주세요 내용 작성은 예시가 아닌 이상 3인칭적인 시선에서 해야 합니다 can access to the knowledge you desire to know at anytime and anywhere, whereas the traditional way of teaching has a variety of restrictions such as time,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and space. For instance, if someone wants to learn how to play the guitar, and he>>?? he 가 누군가요? someone을 받으신거라면 someone이 he 인지 she인지는 아무도 모릅니다 a man처럼 확실한 성별이 있어야만 he라고 받을 수 있구요 decides to learn it from a community centre, then he will needs to consider the place where it is located,>> 콤마 빼주세요 as well as the time they open the class. However, if he decides to learn through online courses, he can easily learn it at home, anytime when he may feels comfortable to do it.
Also >> 문두에 also so and or but은 쓰지 않습니다 there are various types of media on the Internet. People can educate themselves from many forms of information that exists. For example, there are thousands of people upload their knowledge related to their expertise on Youtube, in the form of visual-based media. Many people learn their know-how using that platform and also some of them participate play a contents-provider role as a contents provider. This particular circle of encouraging the Internet users to participate be as not only a learner but also a teacher.
In conclusion, learning on computer has many advantages than the traditional way of teaching. People can access to many useful resources exsisting on the web,>> 콤마 배주세요 with no limitation. People can also provide their knowledge and while they learn from others at the same time. There is no doubt that the computer would take over the position of teacher in the near future.
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주장 다음 주장에 대한 설명 다음 예시의 형식으로 진행이 되어야 합니다
그런 형식의 진행 없이는 글이 매끄럽지 않습니다
또한 시점도 그렇고 if 절 예시는 본문 하나에 하나면 충분합니다
동사가 수동형이 되는지 안 되는 것인지도 보시길 바랍니다
Task Achievement - 6
Coherence and Cohesion - 5
Lexical Resource - 5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4
5.0 예상합니다