▶ Your Answer :
The pie chart shows factors to reduce the area of farm lands in 1990s,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and the table compares the percentages of land reduction by the factors in North America, Europe, and Oceania.
In the pie chart, cutting forest, over-farming, and over-grazing were main reasons with 30%, 28%, and 35% respectively. Despite the most main factor, over-grazing, the total land degraded in North America occured the smallest curtailed with 5%. However, Europe experienced the dramatic degradation with 23% of the whole area of the agricultural land. Among the most problematic factor was curtailing forests, which took up for 9.8%. In Oceania, over-grazing was the dominant factor with 11.3%, which took accounts for almost part, related to total degradation with 13%, while there was not over-grazing.
Overall, the agricultural land >> land for agriculture in Europe was significantly threatened by many factors, especially by over-grazing. In spite of none non-over-cultivation, Oceania also suffered from reduction of agriculture land, and North America recorded the lowest degradation in the three continents.
전체적으로 작성이 잘 됐네요
다만 took 보단 took up 이나 account for 등을 사용해주시면 더욱 좋을 것이라고 생각합니다 전치사 문제가 좀 있었네요
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 7 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.5 예상합니다 |