The two table charts compare the percentage of British students who can use an additional language apart from English in a particular university in England in 2000 and 2010.
Overall,
it can be seen that the majority of students can speak at least one other
language. Simultaneously, the largest proportion of students were able to speak
Spanish as a second language in both periods given, while German remained as the language with the lowest rate in 2000 and 2010.
First
of all, the figure of Spanish was 30% in 2000, which showed a slight increase
to 35% in 2010. Similarly, students who can speak another language and two
others constituted 15% and 10% in 2000 and then the proportion of the two
groups experienced a positive growth of five percentage points in 2010.
Looking
at the remaining options, 20% of students could speak only English in 2000. At
the same time, the rate of students using only French and German were 15% and
10% each. Interestingly, all three categories aforementioned composed the same
proportion at 10% in 2010.
감사합니다 :)
총평: (7/6/8/7) 7.0
지금 글의 경우 표현상 이점으로 점수는 다 벌어갔지만, 문단 구분에 있어서는 조금 아쉽네요. 일단 정석은 00년과 10년을 분리하는 것인데, 이걸 떠나서 애초에 현재 마지막 두 문단을 나눈 명확한 기준은 보이지 않기 때문에 이에서 탈피하는 것이 좋습니다.
또한 Overview의 경우도 아예 틀린 건 아닌데, 역시 정석은 "2000년에 비해 2010년에는 최소 한 개 이상의 외국어를 할 수 있는 학생의 비율이 증가했다~' 가 됩니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)