▶ Your Answer :
People have different opinions on whether or not children should learn a foreign language from an early age. In this regard, some assert that early education of in a foreign language have many drawbacks. However, I strongly believe that it is beneficial because it helps children to learn languages quickly and to follow the trend of globalization. I will further outline my arguement below.
First of all, early exposure of foreign language education is crucial because children are more adept at for learning languages than adults. Many kindergartens have English courses, and children who are taking the course present significantly fast acquisition of English. Moreover, research conducted on foreign language acqusition (리서치 결과 아이엘츠에서 사용 권장 x / 감점의 요소) has shown that children have abilities to learn a foreign language more easily. This result shown that children need an appropriate early education.
In addition, if we look at the current business world, the need for multilingual employees has become urgent. Tons of companies, (comma) such as hotels, airlines, and publisher increasingly have broaden the market. In this regard, prepared students would have the more chance more to find positions. In this fierce competitive society, multilingual ability can be a strong point.
In conclusion, peple learn languages more easily in childhood, and it allows them
to become competitive globally. Therefore, children should be encouraged to learn foreign languages from an early stage.
SCORE: 5.5
Comment: 현재 서술하신 글이 212words로 At least 250words의 기준치에 많이 미달입니다. IELTS Writing Task2는 최소 250자로 300자 정도 서술하신다고 생각하시고 글을 쓰시는 것이 좋습니다. 기준치를 채우지 못할시 점수를 기대하기 힘듭니다. 또한, 현재 서론이 본론에 비해 많은 비중을 차지하고 있으며, 본론에 집중하여 본론의 길이를 더 늘리셔야합니다. 전반적으로는 잘 서술하셨습니다. |