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The charts compare the percentage of the ages of the residents in the Yemen and the Italy across fifty years,>> 콤마 빼주세요 in 2000 and in 2050.
It can be clearly seen that the proportion of people older than 60 in the Italy will have been be larger than in the that of Yemen but, . >> 다른 얘기를 진행할 것이고 이미 길어서 끊어주세요However, the proportion of the residents under 14 in the Italy will be smaller than in the that of Yemen until 2050. >> 오버뷰네요 본론입니다 In 2000, the percentage of people under 14 in the Yemen was as more than three times as in the that of Italy, respectively 50.1% and 14.3% respectively. On the other hand, the both proportions of the residents over 60 and between 15 and 59 in the Italy, taking up 24.1% and 61.6% respectively, were significantly larger than in the Yemen. After 50 years, however, the circumstance of the percentage of people between 15 and 59 will be changed, accounting for 57.3% in the Yemen and 46.2% in the Italy. Furthermore, 42.3% of Italians will be taken up by over 60, which is approximately doubled from 24.1%.
In conclusion, the charts show that the percentage of Italians over 60 will be still larger than in the that of Yemen and, . 끊어주시구요 콤마 위치도 and 앞으로 가야 합니다 the proportion of people under 14 in the Yemen will be still larger than in the that of Italy. However, the proportion of people between 15 and 59 in the Yemen will overtake that of Italy.
파이차트 너무 어려워서 멘붕할 지경이에요 ㅠ
흐..
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다른 차트들과 똑같습니다
서론은 간단하게 주어진 문장 페러프레이즈 해서 쓰고
본론에선 가장 눈에 띄게 큰 부분 가장 눈에 띄게 작은 부분
두개의 퍼센트를 합치니 어떤거 하나의 퍼센트랑 같다 혹은 비슷하다 등의
식으로 문장을 진행하시면 됩니다
결론은 서론을 다시 다른 말로 페러프레이즈 하거나 본론처럼 다른 문단을 구성하셔도 되구요
우선 단어에서 많이 약합니다 계속 같은 것들이 틀렸는데 그게 많이 틀렸으면서도 계속 같은 식의 표현만 썼다는 증거도 됩니다
Yemenite 과 Italian 으로도 써주시길 바라구요
전체 문장 길이도 너무 깁니다
처음에 문단 설정도 잘못했구요 나라에 the 를 붙이는건 The UK, The United Kingdom, The USA, The Netherlands, The Philippines, The UAE 이렇게만입니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 4 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4
5.0 예상합니다 |