Q)
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects other
people think that, in today’s world, subjects like
science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both
these views and give your own opinion.
School provides diverse subjects and activities in pursuit
of educating the whole person. Some
people argue that history is one of the most crucial subjects, while and others
disagree with that notion, emphasizing the importance of subjects like science
and technology.
To begin with, focusing on learning and inventing something
new and innovative through subjects such as science and technology seems more
logical and productive. History appears to be irrelevant when people are
attempting to go to Mars to inhabit and are swamped with new technology every
day (여기의 swamp는 history가 받나요? 아니면 people 인가요? 후자이면 그냥 두시면 되고, 전자이면 are->is 로 수정해주시면 됩니다.). Rather than reading about archaic humans and their relics, one would do
better if they learn how to code and analyze big data.
On the other hand, history broadens our views to allow us to
be prepared for the consequence of technology and scientific science advances.
Undoubtedly, we We are living in an unpredictable and unprecedented era. In
retrospect, technology and science have brought catastrophes as well as the
comfort of living and immense wealth. For instance, mass manslaughter due to a nuclear
bomb and the destruction of the ozone layer was never an intention of
scientists who invented related technology. By learning human nature and course of action, one
will be able to make the right decision when applying them.
To conclude, I believe that history is as important as
science and technology, therefore, should be acknowledged accordingly. By
learning diverse subjects at school, students are encouraged to be innovative
and reflective, create new way of life and predict the consequence of it. In
other words, to they can become a well-rounded person.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
지금도 사실 충분히 잘 쓰인 글이긴 한데, 아자아자콩콩님 문장력을 고려했을 때 자잘한 오류들이 보인다는 점은 조금 아쉽긴 하네요. 이러한 오류들이 반 정도로만 줄어도 task2에서 7.5까지는 괜찮을 겁니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)