■ DirectionYou have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.■ QuestionSummarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading

These days, increasing of live expectancy is contentious among many experts, who they have significantly pointed out that new rules should be made make by the government. This is because due to the expending extension of life expectancy, many young people get burden that they should impose many taxes from their salary to support older people, since retirement time did not change compared to the past, it is still around 60 years old. (문장이 너무 길어지면서 비문이 되었습니다. 중간에 한 번은 끊고, 다듬어보세요! 어떻게 바꿔야할지 모르신다면 언제든 댓글 주시면 됩니다.) To confront this problem, the government should make a new law that to extend the retirement age to 70 years old is expending retirement time such as around 70 years old. Therefore, this policy can reduce the burden of young people and increase old people’ life happiness. Many people can feel a sense achievement when they get a success in workplace. 

One the other hand, individuals should find another skills to survive expending life to solve this problem. Since life expectancy has increased, people could live two different lives. For example, many sport athletes find another life when they are retirement because sports athletes have short working time compared to other people. Many famous athletes work as actors after finishing their first job. It is clear that general people can also find and learn another skills that they are good at or interested in to make life more efficiently.   (여기에 대해서는 총평에서 말씀드리겠습니다.)

To sum up, firstly the role of government is very crucial in society, also the individual have to improve their awareness to find a wise ability to live happier life. (결론도 다시 작성해주셔야 하는데, 총평을 참고해주세요.)

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현재 논제 반영이 정확하게 되고 있지 못하기 때문에 이 글은 다시 한번 작성해보셔야 합니다. 논제가 묻고 있는 것은 1. 평균 수명 증가에 따른 개인과 사회에 대한 영향 2. 이 영향을 줄이기 위한 해결책의 두 가지입니다. 그러나 현재 글은 너무 해결책, 그것도 영향과 완전히 대응되지는 않는 해결책 쪽에만 집중되어있어요. 이 글에서 영향이라고 볼 수 있는 부분은 제가 파란색으로 표시해드린 부분밖에 없습니다.

다시 작성하실 때, 첫 번째 본론 문단에서는 개인에 대한 영향 한 가지, 그리고 사회에 대한 영향 한 가지를 각각 넣어주시고, 본론 두 번째 문단에서는 이를 극복할 수 있는 해결책을 각각 한 개씩 적어주시면 됩니다. 지금처럼 특정 쪽으로 쏠리지 않도록 주의해주시고, 또한 결론도 해결책은 물론 영향 쪽도 요약할 수 있도록 작성해주세요. 수고하셨습니다 :)