Your Answer ▼ Sedack In modern society, most people in cities do not know well about their neighbors and do not feel a sense of community than the past. In this essay, the reasons of this phenomenon and some solutions will be discussed.
To begin with, most people in cities are usually living a in busy and competitive life and it is not just about workers but also students. Because people have to start a day in the early morning to go to school or work place, there is no time to care about neighbors in morning. In addition, people a spend mentally and physically demanding time during a day for studying or finishing tasks. That is, after finish their duties, people prefer to care themselves and have their own time rather than 동사 ing ~~~ others excepting others. This modern life style make deprives people of the (deprive of 는 익혀두시면 도움이 될 겁니다.) can not have mind to know about their neighbors and feel a sense of community.
This phenomenon is the complex problem of economy, trend, competitive social atmosphere, and so on, thus it cannot be resolved through a single attempt. Firstly, the governments have to make some outcomes or plans which can be helpful to develop economy, because the radical reason of that people are living in busy life is to live a stable life in an unstable domestic economy. Secondly, people need to try to think about their neighbors and sense of community by themselves. If people realize the importance of neighbors around them, they would care for/about them even a bit and feel sense of community.
In conclusion, these days, people in cities live too busy life to think about their neighbors and sense of community. To solve this problem, the government should try to encourage domestic economy and citizens should try to care their neighbors as well.
목표점수 6.5 쓴 시간 44분 찾아본 단어 3개 다음 시험까지 4주정도 남았습니다!! 현재상황은... 좋지 않아요 task1과 스피킹은 거의 해보지 않았구요 리스닝과 리딩은 예전에 6.5 7.0 나왔어서 조금 안일한 생각이지만 문제만 몇번 풀어보고 나머지 시간은 롸이팅과 스피킹에 투자하려고요 선생님 없으면 큰일납니다 ㅠ
네 Sedack님 정보 감사합니다! 사실 Sedack님 정도는 다음 시험 관련 사항 빼고는 어느정도 알고 있었지만요.
일단 제가 종종 말씀드려서 잘 아시겠지만 task 2의 경우는 문법 기복을 줄이는 것이 포인트가 됩니다. 이번 글 정도로만 작성해주시면 6.5는 문제 없을 거에요. 그러면 남는 게 task 1인데...이 친구는, 사실 7.0 목표로 하신다면 얘도 어느정도 빡세게 잡고 가야하겠지만, 6.5이면 그냥 task 2에서 최대한 벌어가는 전략, 그리고 task 1에서 감점을 최소화하는 전략으로도 충분히 가능할 겁니다. 따라서 저도 task 1 첨삭은 최대한 까이는 부분을 줄이는 쪽으로 해드릴게요~!
아 그리고 이번 글 피드백의 경우는 문법상 자잘한 오류 정도만 수정해주시면 되겠습니다. 수고하셨습니다 :) |