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Nowadays, we have a lot of opportunities to
be educated and be developed personally in many ways. In my opinion, I agree
that those who live in egalitarian societies can get more rather than those who
live in unequal societies.(주제에 대해서 조금만 더 구체적인 서술이 나올 수 있으면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 대비되는 내용이 무엇인지 좀 더 명확히 보여주세요) Equality is the most important factor in education.
I believe that children have to learn at school for free as much as they want to
be educated. As we are educated equally for free, we all are same in the beginning.
For example, one child who has a desire to read a book but if the society is
not in egalitarian and he doesn’t does not have enough money to learn the alphabet, they he does do not have an opportunity to get personal achievement even before learning the
alphabet. I totally disagree that only through their
individual merits, they people can succeed a high level of personal achievement. For example,
the person who already had a talent for playing violin, but he did not have a
chance to learn a violin because of finance tight financial difficulty. If learning violin was free,
the situation should be changed. He will be a violinist and enjoy his life.(예시인만큼 실제 이 사람의 이름도 같이 쓰이면 더 설득력이 높아질 것 같아요)
As a society, we need to provide many
opportunities for learning something that people wants. I believed that it is not
only for getting a personal wish or achievement but also for developing the level
of society. When children are able to learn what they like for free and are do well in some
areas for free, people who are living in that society can they would get their achievement. |