Most people crave success and think that earning much money is success,(.마침)
thus(, 컴마) people say talk about success and failure for a long time. In the a book store, also, you can also find a lot of books for self - development. In modern society, Many sentences are made by people, (.마침) One of them is 'Failure is proof proves that the desire wasn't strong enough.'
I partly agree with this statement, and this essay will explain situations in success and failure with desire.
참고로 아이엘츠니까 book shop도 좋겠네요. book store라는 말은 영국에서 한 체인 서점의 이름을 빼고는 거의 안씁니다. 물론 시험에서 점수엔 아무 상관 없습니다.
I partly agree that 'Failure is proof proves that the desire wasn't strong enough.'
If people have enough a strong desire on their own aims, 1. they want to use all ways and try hard for success. For example, when I was in Korea, I read a book for high school students. 2. Author desired studying at the Seoul university. (The seoul university is the best university in Korea.) He just slept for 3 hours every night for 3 years when he was in high school. Finally, he can study at could go to the university. Likewise, if people have a strong desire for their aim, they do whatever for success.
1. they will try to do their best
2. The author of the book desired to study at Seoul national university.
(필요 없지만 굳이 붙이자면 뒤에,) which is the finest university in Korea.
'Failure is proof that the desire wasn't strong enough.' 이 안되는 이유는
여기서 that은 주격, 목적격 관계대명사가 아니라 접속사 이므로 그 앞에 동사가 와야함.
Failure is a proof of a weak desire 는 가능.
However, In spite of that although some people have a strong desire , they could not achieve their dream. For instance, 3.A student want to study a major at university, but his parents do not have enough money for their child. The other situation is that people have serious health problem. I think without these situations, The statement is true.
In spite of = despite 전치사
although = even though = even if = though 접속사
3. there was a student who want to study something at the university, but his parents do not have enough money to support him.
When I was in high school, my English teachers' favorite sentence is 'No pains, no gains'. I also agree with this saying. statement. In conclusion, If people failed their aim, It means that they do not have enough strong desire.
내용이 말이죠. 저 however가 이끄는 문단 때문에 님의 주장의 설득력을 매우 떨어졌습니다. 강한 의지가 중요하다고 했는데, 그러나 항상 그렇지 않은 경우도 있다. 결론에서 다시 충분한 욕구가 필요하다. 인데요, 그래서 저 however 이하 문단은 없는게 좋겠군요. |