Your Answer ▼
Some people concern that children might grow up as a selfish individual if they are allowed to make everyday decisions own their own. Others, however, think children should make their choices on the issues that affects them. To begin with, children can not learn important lessons when they are allowed to make any choices. It is important to consider other people since we are living together in the society. However, if they were never taught to control their wishes in early stages of life, it can cause conflicts with other people. Moreover, if the choices of children are not controlled at all. This can lead to many dangerous situations if they think breaking the rules can also be permitted. For example, teenagers without appropriate care from parents or teachers may cause crimes that threatens other people. However, other people argue that letting children to make their own decision is important for their confidence. Children who were given changes to make their own decision will be more confident compared to others. This will also teach children to be responsible for their choices and learn to make better choices. For example, young kids sometimes want to wear clothes that are not appropriate for the weather. If parents insist to change their clothes, children will not be cold or hot, but will never learn why it is important to wear certain clothes. Rather if they wore the clothes what they chosen at first, children will learn from experience on how to choose clothes. To sum up, although there are possibility that children to grow up as selfish if all the choices were allowed,I think it is more important to give them chances to make their own decisions. It is because that the lesson from their own experience it better remembered to make their behavior.
안녕하세요 ! 목표점수는 7점이고 45분정도 걸려서 썼습니다! 혹시 세번째 문단에 쓴 경우처럼 예시가 너무 길어지는 것은 좋지 않을까요? 저 예시를 쓰니까 다른 내용을 못써서 오히려 주장이 약해진다는 느낌을 받았습니다. 첨삭 감사드립니다..!! |