■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic :
Mixed culture has more negative facts than advantages.
Do you agree or disagree? | |
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▶ Your Answer :
The question of whether multicultural society has more negative influences than positive effects is an age old debate as the world has been disadvantages in mixed cultural society, advantages outweigh its drawbacks. I will present the reasons why I think so in this essay.
As our societies have become multicultural, many people could emigrate to another countries regardless their status. This brought many poor people to move to other developed countries, and caused numerous social problems. In addition, a number of illegal emigrants have come up and the number of crimes cause by them have increased. According to a survey conducted by the Oxford University, crimes done by illegal emigrants have increased by 5% every year.
Emigrants, on the other hand, have contributed to our societies at a variety of fields. Many of them have been working at 3D jobs, which means Dirty, Dangerous and Difficult. As they work at those positions, they have been a part of our development. Moreover, they have played a significant role in our societies.
For our culture and education, mixed culture teaches our children how to admit other culture. Our children learn that there are huge number of different cultures and every culture should be equal and considered important. By learning these value, children can naturally experience a equality of culture.
In summary, even if there are some disadvantages of a multicultural society, it would be surely covered if it is considered the importance and contribution of emigrants. Therefore, this would be the reason why many countries have become multicultural.
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첨삭 부탁 드릴게요~
아! 그리고 혹시 첨삭 해주시는 분은 누구신지 알수 있을까요?