The issue that is currently occurring in the environment has given experts many concerns, in which human activities have made the environment to change rapidly (여기를 environment 뒤로 옮겨주세요.). Although this phenomenon is a big problem nowadays, it can be solved by appropriately regulating appropriately these activities that aggravate the environment.
the The main cause of a changing-quickly nature is that many companies over the world are depleting its resources to meet the market's demands. For example, there are many companies that cut off a lot of trees to meet their needs. This is because the global market and population are more and more growing, so many companies are cutting off a large number of trees to keep up the pace with the market demands. (여기의 경우 앞에서 했던 말을 약간의 표현만 추가해서 그대로 반복하는 것에 지나지 않습니다.) It is commonly known that the number of trees has a crucial effect on mankind and the ecosystem by converting carbon dioxide into the fresh air and providing animals with shelters. (바로 윗 빨간색 부분이 안 좋은 근거의 예시라면, 이 문장의 경우는 아주 좋은 근거의 전형적인 유형으로 볼 수 있습니다.) Therefore, it is evident that this behaviour that cut off of cutting off trees have has (behavior 와 호응됩니다.) been causing nature to turn into a bad situation quickly.
However, there is an effective solution to address human activities, which is the strict regulations made by the governments' strict regulations. For example, the government can establish policies to preserve natural resources from companies by imposing strict penalties on their activities. Through this, the environment is can be effectively protected and may retain its resources longer. As a result, the government's policies can stop the changing-quickly environment from human activities.
To sum up, although the increasing number of human behaviours that threaten nature is a serious problem. governments can restrict these activities effectively.
항상 예시를 대는부분이 어렵습니다...ㅠ 예시가 원래 제일 어려운 부분이긴 합니다. 본론 첫 번째 문단에 빨간색 부분처럼만 작성하지 마시고, 파란색 부분처럼만 작성하면 적어도 예시가 발목을 잡는 일은 없을 거에요 :)
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